Sincerely, Me

I've been on the verge of creating a new blog. What started out for me as a space for personal musings and a space for processing life, faith, pain, and questions quickly turned into a sort of tabloid. I've been feeling inhibited by the amount of eyes on my blog and have been craving anonymity. 

I want to write about the questions I have about god, Christianity, faith, life, pain, and my journey without the fear of someone taking it personally. I want to reclaim that space of free unadulterated musings by taking my name out of the picture, but by doing so I would lose something very important to me - relatability. 

There's been a secret and unwritten pulse behind each post and it has been to let people know that they are not alone. It has always been my hope that by my being open, honest, and vulnerable that others who have or currently feel the same way would know that they are not alone. Along the way it has gotten very personal for myself and readers, at times too personal. 

So yeah, I could start a new blog. I could use a seudo-name. I could even call it "sincerelyanonymous"... (I looked it up, the domain is available). But you the reader would lose something very valuable- my name. I have a name. You can look me up on facebook and see that I'm a real person. You can find me on instagram and see that I am a coffee-loving, nature-loving, florida girl who adores her friends and family and is occasionally artsy. My name gives me authority and it gives life to my words, but more importantly it gives you an actual hand to grab hold of if need be. 

So here's what I've decided: 

I'm going to keep writing and you're probably not going to like it. My blog is about living life in the gray where things are messy and the lines are all blurred; nothing is straight-forward, nothing is black and white, nothing is clean cut, and everything is up for discussion. 

I went from having it all figured out to having nothing figured out. Slowly I'm learning what intangible things are of value to me and what's valuable to me may not be valuable to you and what's not valuable to me in my life right now may be very valuable to you and that's ok. If this blog doesn't serve you on your journey, by all means don't read it. 

This blog is for heretics, seekers, questioners, skeptics, wanderers, hippies, and the faithless. This blog is for the depressed, the anxious, the addicts, the traumatized, the abused, the mourners, and the forgotten. This blog is for the accused, the judged, the misunderstood, and the excommunicated. It's totally ok if that's not you, but it's part of me and it's part of this blog. 

So let's get back to it. 

Sincerely, 

Me (Stephanie Gray)