"Well, is it really working?"

In attempts to be gentle, gracious and kind towards those who think and live in ways contradictory to our own thoughts and lives, my friends and I adopted this phrase of "Well that's what works for them."

The overly submissive wife...."Well that's what works for them."

The religious volunteer who's a workaholic...."Well that's what works for them."

The church that's all missional but zero homecare...."Well that's what works for them."

The church producing copy after copy of the same "type"...."Well that's what works for them."

The pastor who has his PhD in delegating and ordering...."Well that's what works for them."

And for a while it stiffled and silenced accusations and oppositions of thought and rhetoric, but it got to a point where it just wasn't doing it for me anymore because it all began to pose a new question, "Well, is it really working?" And the answer I've found is both yes and no.

IS IT REALLY WORKING FOR THEM? Yes. Yes it is. It absolutely works within the confines of the world which they and their culture and their chosen influences have created for it to work. As it's been said, "Perception is reality." In other words, how you perceive things is your reality. Anaïs Nin, a writer in the early 1900s, said, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." My belief structure determines my thought structure and my thought structure alters and paints my perception and my perception paints my reality. 'It is what determines whether I see a piece of colored cloth as just that or whether I see it as an enemy flag. It is what determines whether I see as stick as merely a stick, or whether I see it as a religious staff (https://www.hawaii.edu/...).'

The problem is that my belief structure has determined my own thought structure and my thought structure alters and paints my perception whichin turn paints my reality. My beliefs have taught me to see God in a certain way just as their beliefs have taught them to see God in their own way; which is how it ought to be by the way! If we all see God the same way, what is there to learn from each other. And if we all read Scripture the same way, what more could we possibly ever learn than what we ourselves perceive? But the problem is that in my reality, it's not working for them. And of course, it's hard to not be baised about one's own reality. So I can't just judge one reality beside another because realities are based off something too fluid. Even what one would call an "absolute truth" is tainted by perception. What then is concrete enough to be able to stand up against people's realities when even God Himself is colored by them?

And here's where I break down and I realize that I just have to shut up and let God be God because only God can break down those kind of unseen walls to where He, and He alone, is able to gently invade their perception with the True reality of His heart and character in a way that does not offend their perception, but encourages it to open up and allow Him into their reality in just the way that He is revealing Himself. The beauty is that He meets me where I'm at, not where you're at; just as He meets you where you're at and not where I'm at.

I may see an innevitable collapse when I look at some churches. I may see a withering soul when I look at some people and their situations. But that is my perception. It doesn't make it any less true. It doesn't make theirs any less true either. The trick is, I believe, to tap into God's perception that we could look and see His reality. That would indeed be a gift beyond comprehension. Such a glimpse might even be called bringing heaven to earth.

Sometimes things are so undeniably unhealthy, a fact proven by the rubble it leaves behind in its wake. Sometimes our conscience demands we speak out against certain realities and perceptions. Perhaps because we have caught a glimpse of God's perception and we see the ways in which one reality contradicts His intended reality. Perhaps not, but I think in those times it is best to do what one feels is best according to one's own conscience and to do so gently. To not merely debunk one reality against another, but to gently woo and coerce another's percerption to invite in the possibility of another reality and let them decide what to do with it.

Both silence and action present their own set of trials which, in their own way, seem to always pose the question, "Well, is it really working?"