Holdfast

Last week I was at the beach where I was facing some of the biggest waves I have ever seen much less been in the water with. I was attempting to boogie board, wanting to ride the same massive waves the surfers were getting. The water was strong and although I could see the waves, I could not get to them. I looked to my right and I saw the same size waves, much closer to the shoreline, but right in the middle of a massive riptide with waves closing in from every direction. God spoke to me in this moment showing me that I could fight for the waves that I knew would be better for me in the long run or I could go for the waves that were closer but far more dangerous. I'd like to say that I fought through, caught the biggest wave imaginable and had the best ride, but I gave up because I couldn't push through this one wall of waves; the waves kept crashing and pushing me back, making me loose whatever progress I had gained. When I quit I tried to just let the waves push me in, but what I didn't realize was that while I was fighting to get to the big waves in front of me, I was keeping myself from getting sucked into the riptide. I ended up getting caught in the very riptide that I had decided not to settle for. Thank God I've had enough experience in the water to know how to escape those types of places and I managed to get out of the riptide safely. 

I failed to see, at the time, that what God was showing in the water was a glimpse of what was happening in my own life. Much like I was fighting to get to the big waves, I've been fighting to get to my dreams here in this place. I had my eyes set on what I wanted, what I knew God had for me, and I've been fighting against everything, including myself at times, to get to that. And much like my frustration with not making it in the water, I felt the same frustration with fighting against the currents I've been facing in Australia. Recently I began to hit a wall that kept dragging me down and so last weekend I made a decision to quit and leave the base here in Adelaide. And just like that I got sucked into a riptide of my will; no progress can be made in this place unless you know how to get out. So I prayed and the word God gave me was "holdfast." A holdfast is much like an anchor, it's something that secures one thing to another, a clamping, a strong grip; and God told me that His words are to be my holdfast. An anchor is no permanent thing, it goes up and down, but it holds you in the place that you are meant to be at the time you're meant to be there. When I decided to quit, I made the call to pull up anchor when it was not my place; His words have been to "not worry about where the finish line is but to keep going" and I decided that it was time to sail to other shores. Fighting for what I knew was better kept me from getting sucked into the riptides but when I stopped fighting I succumbed to its pull. The only way out of a riptide like that is prayer. Thankfully I'm out safely now and I've recanted my decision to quit and am holding fast to God's words here in Adelaide for however long He will have me here. 

When I thought later about that day at the beach I realized that I was trying to get to those waves the wrong way entirely. There was a point in the water where the surfers stopped walking in the water and they laid on their boards and paddled out to the waves, riding on top of the waves that would otherwise push them back. I couldn't get past that wall in the water because I kept trying to walk to the waves, facing them head on, rather than rising above them. 

I'm not exactly sure what "rising above them" means for me practically, but I'm learning that it's not the desire to quit that defines our mission but it's perseverance that defines our legacy. So long as His words are my holdfast I can't be sucked into riptides or get pushed back to shore; His anchor is my assurance to reaching the waves I long for.

 

I hope that some of you may be encouraged to not give up, to make His words your holdfast and to persevere and rise above the waves that are pushing you back so that you can hold onto your dreams and God-given desires. I share these experiences, yes because I want to be open and honest, but more so for the opportunity to encourage you; we are all different people in different places but our struggles are, at their core, the same. Be encouraged brothers and sisters, He is for us.